Sawyer was a bright and happy nursing student until one night, while driving her boyfriend and best friend back from a party, a car crosses her path and her life was irrevocably changed.
As a consequence to the accident, four people were dead and she was sentenced to eight years in prison.
Now, eight and a half years after, she is free, but she is no longer that person, but a woman with so many demons and guilt that she can barely breathe.
There would be no healing for me.
There would just be existing.
And that’s all that there would ever be.
Existing, alone.
I was a horrible, no good, very bad person and not a single day went by that I didn’t wish it was me that’d died that day instead of them.
That would be awesome… if I were worth having that.
But I wasn’t, so I wasn’t going to look too much into it.
What was the point?
They didn’t know me.
And they didn’t need to. I was worthless.
And then we have Silas, the president of The Dixie Wardens MC, and before I start the rant (OK, I promise I’ll control myself…LOL), I would like to point out that I have nothing against the cover model, au contraire, but when I picture Silas (according to his descriptions) there are a bunch of graying short haired and short bearded, blue eyed rugged DILFs out there that fit the bill better, IMO, such as this one.
Ok, we could need to roughen him up even more but he would be perfect, and then the age gap and her attraction to him would be undeniable. But hey, that is just my opinion, and it’s worth what is worth…LOL
Now back to the character, he has made appearances although out this author’s books and we know that his past is less than savory (especially for someone like me that ab horrors cheating in my readings) as I mentioned in the point ‘cheating’, so I will just say that he made me give him a clean slate, the author was able to make me forget my grudge against his past and that is quite a feat since I’m a resentful bitch (worse than a scorned woman, because normally I just can’t let it go – sorry, Elsa – no way, no how). So that just shows you how much his character, and especially his actions forced me to really look at him, and see a new person with stood up to his mistakes, was honest and wonderful to Sawyer.
Now, let’s go to that, the present Silas…
Silas, is a mature man, and his position on the MC is a reflexion of his personality, he is a confident, what you see is what you get, straight shooter. Like any club member, his club brothers are his extended family, and we feel his longing for a better connection with his sons and daughter’s family (especially Sam), but he fully accepts that the decisions he made to protect them in their past will forever be remember only by the bad part, not the good that came out of them.
Silas was aware of Sawyer’s predicament mainly because he was dating her mother (I know, I know, normally that his another of my triggers, but I felt it was more a companionship of two lonely persons than really dating, they never had sex, and only kissed, so it really didn’t bother me), and was intrigued by the situation, which surprised even himself… LOL
I didn’t really want to know, but the fucking brothers had turned me into a fuckin’ gossip whore.(Silas’ inner thoughts)
But when Sawyer came out, and he came face to face with her there was a magnetic pull between them, that both try to deny and fight.
I’m not a person known for his good decisions.
I knew I shouldn’t take her.
Knew it was bad on way too many levels.
Yet my dick and my mind were in complete agreement.
And I was a big believer in fate.(Silas’ inner thought)
Since fate really put them literally in each others path, and the attraction was so strong they decide to let it go, and give in to the pull. And boy, oh boy, were they HOT together, the sex scenes were of the charts, and Silas, OMG he takes dominant to a whole new level… 😉
Of course they try to fight their feelings, and not get emotional involved, being straight that they want only a physical relationship, only sex.
“I don’t do relationships. And whatever this is, it’s not going to be hearts and flowers. I don’t have time for that,” he said again.
She shrugged. “I don’t have time for hearts and flowers anyway. It’s just not for me.”
But as we all know, life is not always as we plan, and they start getting more and more involved with the other’s life while having some crazy hot sex where Silas makes very clear ( in a orgasmic way 😉 ) how their dynamic is going to work…
“When I tell you to do something…I expect you to do it. I’m not a man like any of the others you may have known. I’m older and set in my ways, I expect things to be done the way I want them done, and all that means you need to follow my directions. Everything I do and say has a purpose, and that purpose is what’s in your best interest. So from now on, in all ways, you obey me,”
I love how the author manages to provide us some humorous moments that perfectly balance the heavy themes, and always crack me up.
“I didn’t know his favorite anything, and I’d had sex with him multiple times!
I knew how he liked his cock sucked, though.
Which I guess was better than knowing he preferred chopped brisket to sliced brisket.”
One of the things that made me love Silas was his honesty, and the way he opened up to Sawyer, and when he know he was having strong feeling for her, he didn’t keep them to himself.
“Why are you telling me this?” I gasped, tears starting to leak down my cheeks.
“Because you need to understand,” he said, bending down to press his lips against my face. “Because I think I’m falling for you when I promised myself I’d never do this ever again. Because it hurts too fucking bad.”
And before he confessed that to her, he fully disclosed everything about his life, his past, his mistakes, errors and his deepest regrets. That truly surprised me, and Sawyer, it seemed, but it was a wonderful thing to see a strong and confident character like his open himself up like that, and show a huge vulnerability and fear of getting hurt.
But I couldn’t help feeling it was wrong, what he’d done.
That it was wrong of me to want to be with him. (Sawyer’s inner thought upon the reveal)
Sawyer took a second to analyze his reveal, aware of the wrong that he had done, but saw how much he regretted all those mistakes, understood his reasoning but was strong and said what she felt about the situation.
“But I like you too much to leave. Just know that if you ever get into a circumstance where you have to do anything similar to that to me, I’ll tear down heaven and earth to have you at my side. I won’t tolerate cheating under any circumstance, even if it’s supposedly to protect me. Understand?”
He smiled, a brilliant one that made my heart throb in my chest.
“Yeah, I gotcha.”
Once they clear all that up, there was no way of going back for them (not that they wanted it!), and it made Silas (and us as a reader) understand why (unconsciously) he had made some of that bad choices in the past.
It’d been her eyes.
The innocence in them.
I was drawn to that.
It drew me in every, single time.
Which had been the reason I’d fallen for Sawyer, too.
Now, though, I knew she was nothing like Leslie.
She was stronger.
She was someone I’d never in my life cheat on. She knew all about me, and I knew there’d never be a time that I kept a goddamn
And this realization was the final step for him to come to peace with his dark past and open himself up for the future with Sawyer.
“Hell, now that I had Sawyer, I realized just how much I didn’t love Leslie.
Because what I felt for Sawyer, I knew, was real love.
It was unshakable.
This love…it would withstand the test of time.
She got me, and I got her.
Before her, every damn night, I’d dream of how my life could’ve been.
Now, with Sawyer in it, I dreamed of what our life will be like.”
So together they fought each other demons, (SPOILER ALERT) Silas made sure to unravel the true circumstances of Sawyer’s accident and unfair trial, therefore slaying her dragons (SPOILER END) , overcame all their fear regarding love, and are really for everything that may come their way.
“And even though he was still hurt and had some healing to do, I knew everything was going to be alright.
Because Silas would make sure it was.
He’d never stop fighting for me, and I would do the same for him.
Because I loved him, and he loved me.
It was just as simple as that.”
Like I said before it was an amazing story, that surprised me and made me wish for even more from them. Wish a will surely get in the next book, but I want it now! Feb. 3rd can’t come fast enough (pouting…)!
